Self Care–Just do it!!

It feels so good to take care of myself these days.

For years I put myself on the back burner, always caring for others first, as moms tend to do. When my health got sketchy, with fatigue and joint pain, and I got up to 210 pounds, and had “thrown” my back out a couple times–I started feeling like “this is it, I’m old now” because of the sluggish feeling and lack of vitality. And I was only 44!

I didn’t realize then how much of it was just lack of self care, imbalance, stress and I was anemic too!

I turned it around when I got serious about making room in my life for awesome self care, great food, supplements for balance, regular exercise {which took me a few years to make it routine}, meditation, examining my core beliefs

And mostly making the decision to stop taking SHIT from anyone, and stand up for myself and my values. This took baby steps but I am amazed at how much I have changed just in the last 5 years!

I FIRMLY BELIEVE in taking care of you. No more excuses. You deserve it! Just like the flight attendant tells you to put your own oxygen mask on first, you need to make sure you’re rejuvenated and feeling solid before you give your life force away to others.

What do you do to take great care of yourself?

Do you suffer from the SO MUCH TO DO ailment?

Sometimes I’m tired, like yesterday when I tossed and turned the night before. I found myself out of sorts and grouchy, snapping at my partner, and feeling sluggish. YIKES…this is not like me and I don’t like the way it feels.

In fact, I am so un-used to being OFF-KILTER that I was puzzled by my irritation. I’m in the habit of asking myself frequently “what’s going on?” or “what is behind this emotion?” And I take a deep breath and look inward to get the answer. {yes I do talk to myself.} And this typically works to discover my deeper awareness.

Yesterday, I actually felt surprised for a moment after I questioned my inner smarty-pants, I realized I was just exhausted, but I kept identifying it as upset or down. WHAT? Even when I’ve done TONS of deep dive self-work, I still find myself in situations where I can’t identify the source of my feelings on the surface. I MUST get quiet, take a breath, focus on my inner calm witness and allow the answer to float up.

So I put on my fuzzy socks, took off my bra, turned up the heat, poured some wine, got in my comfy chair and watched an excellent movie. {“The Fundamentals of Caring”}. I simply allowed myself to stop “go go going”, and collapsed a little. Aaaaahhhhh.

I have suffered from the “not productive enough” syndrome most of my life. UGH. I’ve always had a tough time resting and relaxing because there’s “SO MUCH TO DO”. Also because I have SO many badass things I want to accomplish before I pass from this earthly plane, it’s hard for me to slow down.

And yet I know the consequences of not taking time to rest and recharge. Side effects: grouchy, bitchy, poor eating habits, too much wine, sore body, weight gain, defensive partner and eventually lingering fatigue and illness. No thank-you very much!

And so I have made it a habit for the last couple years to plan “down-time”; tv binge time, date nights, family dinners, beach trips and even went camping alone for 3 nights this summer! It was awesome! I also practice yoga 3 – 5 times a week, mediate regularly and listen to self-development books constantly. These THREE things have made THE most singular difference in my life—increased health, well-being and tremendous abundance over the last 6 years!!

What do you do for self-care? What habits, routines or practices do you need to do (or avoid) to feel ON-KILTER! (ha ha I just made that up!)

Be fierce. Be kind. Be Badass!
~S

I am Fussy!

I just found out recently that I am “fussy”. I reacted with a “how very dare you” of course when I first heard this from my partner, feeling hurt. But then he said, “look it up in the dictionary”.

FUSSY

adjective

  1. (of a person) fastidious about one’s needs or requirements; hard to please.
  2. showing excessive or anxious concern about detail.
  3. full of unnecessary detail or decoration.

Ok so after I read them out loud he said “just the first one”. And I was forced to say…hmmm, it is true!

Though fussy seems like an insult, I had to regroup and accept that I am indeed high maintenance and somewhat hard to please.

I have grown more and more specific over the years as to what I like and don’t like. Is that bad?  UM NO!

We have been taught, especially as women, to always put others needs before our own and as a result we suffer from lack of self-care, stress, and low self-esteem. I think it’s a good thing that I KNOW what I like and what I need to keep me stable, satisfied and stress free.

For example, I like having three pillows to sleep.  I can’t explain it, except that it makes my body feel more supported. And when I go on trips I usually take at least my ONE pillow that I love. People make fun and I shrug it off.  It’s more important to me to feel comfort and sleep well than to bow to their ridicule.

I also prefer my decaf to be high quality and just so. Decaf usually sucks at most place because they think people just want a watered-down version of regular and thus don’t care about the taste. I LOVE the taste of coffee, just can’t handle the caffeine without laying awake at night like an OWL! So I am a decaf snob.  And fiercely proud!

And a water snob (I can literally taste the difference between brands of bottled water).

And a foodie.  I am a super-taster so I can taste things like oil that’s too old, chemicals in processed foods and usually whether a fresh food is organic or not. That makes me seem like a regular Gordon Ramsey type bitch when it comes to meals…

”this tastes like a dog’s dinner!”

Also, I wear shorts, skorts and skirts all the time (even in the winter) because I hate pants and my legs feel claustaphobic when I wear them. Weird to you–normal to me. And believe me, people say to me all the time “aren’t you cold?”, “I don’t know how you can wear shorts in this weather” or “Brrrr!’ while staring at my legs. It’s actually gotten so frequent that I need to come up with a snappy comeback—like “I was born in Antarctica” or “my mother was a penguin”.

So yes, in many areas of my life I am fussy. But just like calling a woman bitchy, high maintenance, bossy or bubbly (or Pollyanna) is intended to be derogatory, I shall embrace fussy.

I, Shelly Dax, proclaim far and wide that being fussy is not for the faint-hearted but for the fierce and feisty!!

Synonyms include particular, discriminating, and selective. Sounds like every awesome person I’ve ever known. And a few choice characteristics of the wealthy. Hey I’m ok with that!

 

How are you fussy in your life and have people made fun of you?

 

Be Fierce. Be kind. Be Fussy. Be Badass!

~Shelly

WOE IS ME!! (or hand me another chocolate)

Hurting my back two weeks ago, having to lie there, alternating between ice and heat for days…whew…tested my ability to ALLOW. To just let it all be okay. To not understand the WHY and just face the reality of what is and then CHOOSE to think how I wanted to think.

Oh sure I can talk and talk about accepting what is and flowing with all the ups and downs, or even embracing the unpleasant things in life as just another learning opportunity, but hey when I am in pretty intense pain, it’s not as easy.

My whiny self comes out for a bit of a tantrum:

“it’s not fair”,

“how did this happen”,

“I don’t have time for this shit”, or

“I’m going to eat the whole bag of salted caramel chocolates”

—and OBVS that does NOT decrease the amount of time I have to deal with this unpleasantness…but really just makes it more intolerable.  (well except for the chocolate)

So I tell the little belly-acher to knock it off and use this time to tune in, relax, make room for brilliant ideas and practice letting other people help me. (why is that so hard?)

I feel like the more you think about, dwell on and question “why is this happening to me?”–the more you give momentum to the unwanted thoughts and the more they expand.  Soon to be an all-encompassing “woe is me”. And that little bitchy grumbler scares off all the great ideas, supportive people and potential introspection that could be life changing.

So even in those moments of UGH, like back pain that makes it hurt to sit for any length of time, I can just allow that to pass through me, just accept that it is what it is (so profound right?) and attempt to care for myself and feel good anyway.

Because the pain is still going to be there whether I am absorbed with thoughts of why and woe or thoughts of soothe and chill.

Yes, it throws me off my routine, makes it hard to draw, tattoo or write (all activities that involve sitting!) but it also forces me to learn to be okay with what is, not have to be totally productive every minute (a challenge of mine) and it allows me time for deep dive work on my mindset and beliefs…

which I don’t always “have time for” when I am running around like a crazy woman.

So I’ve tried to think what good came out of these last two weeks and I came up with FOUR things I can appreciate:

  1. I got to practice allowing people to help me. (Dropped so many things on the floor and asked other people to do my bending for me.)

  2. Epsom salt baths with essential oils are marvelous. (Lavender is soothing.)

  3. I can work while lying in bed on my phone and still get a lot done! (yay technology.)

  4. Lindor Caramel with Sea Salt Dark Chocolate Truffles are divine!  (Thanks Gil.)

Not too shabby right?

And though I am eager to get back to my full steam ahead–I can keep calm and eat chocolate in the meantime.

 

Be Fierce. Be Kind. Be Badass.

~S

 

 

 

Little Pep Talk

A piece of advice from the Fierce Pollyanna:

Even when things don’t fucking make sense, even when you hurt, even when the disappointment rears its ugly head, even when money seems scarce, even when you cry yourself to sleep….

Look up. Breathe deeply. Dig down to the bottom of your soul, find that hidden powerhouse, know yourself as divine, see your many gifts and talents, appreciate all the little amazing things that fill your life and embrace your inner badass! 🐃

Don’t give up! Don’t give up. It may be one or two more steps to success, to your dreams to fulfillment! Maybe just an inch away from the love of your life. Just a scoch to that project that will explode your scarcity consciousness. Only one week til it all falls in to place! Keep going.

Keep the faith. Pull yourself up, get the support you need, seek the truth, and follow your deep guidance, listen to the Muses. You can do it babe! 🍭

I’m talking to myself as much as my clients and friends. Little #peptalks.

Be Fierce  Be kind. Be Badass!

~Shelly

Level up Inchworm!

Inching your way to your dreams.

Occasionally I get all discombobulated by SO MUCH TO DO. Like progress on my BIG dreams is creeping at a snail’s pace. I see projects I have started desperate for my attention and the weight of a book I want to finish SO BADLY, still not done, and in those moments, I can get discouraged.

Doing so many things at once to expand my future successes can sometime be a daunting task. Feeling like it is inchworming along and here I want to EXPLODE with growth and fireworks!

I have been an entrepreneur for 11 years!! And so much of the time I make myself suffer because I feel like I am not productive enough! And honestly I work A LOT. Not that it’s all bad, I really enjoy my work 85% of the time. There is always something else to do, create, fix, change, grow. So why do I always have this nagging thought that I need to get everything done and in order?

I was reminded today in my mastermind group that being an entrepreneur basically means nothing is ever actually done. My coach Kat Loterzo told me “that’s the blessing and curse of being an entrepreneur, if you felt you were on top of it all the time you wouldn’t really be an entrepreneur. It doesn’t really go together. It’s about giving yourself permission to never be done and to not make that into something that has to be an energetic big deal. It’s also a great way to learn to prioritize things when you’ve got limited time to build your online business.”

I kid myself. I pretend there will be a day when I don’t have anything to do but paint and sip fresh squeezed salty dogs on a beach somewhere. But hell, I know that would only make me happy for a short while. I am a high vibe, next level crazy chick who loves to kick ass and take names. I love to say “see what I made for you!” whether it is a song, a story, a play, a painting or a tattoo. (or a penis cake. Cause yeah I love to sculpt.)

Cake I made for my daughters bachelorette party 2016

Recently when my oldest son saw the cyber hater attack on me, and then subsequently ALL the things I was furiously working on–custom drawings, blogging, the REEL ME IN! 
fishing board game artwork, studying online business and marketing as well as doing my day job of tattooing and teaching—he said

“Mom you are ‘leveling up’…like in a video game when you beat the boss on one level and move up to the next one.”

I loved that metaphor. That visual has made me jump around doing karate chops and destroying blocks ever since.

I know it is important to celebrate every small baby step in the direction of your dreams. Even as I find myself getting impatient, I take a deeeeeep breath and slow my mind chatter and honor that

inchworm, inchworm… measuring the marigolds…cause I know I’ll go far!

Watch Danny Kaye sing “Inchworm”.
(he’s one of my FAVORITE actor/comedians of all time.)

Level up Inchworm!
Be fierce. Be kind. Be BADASS!
~S

Go Make Your Own Fucking Art!

Haters and bullies and trolls, OH MY!!

 

Okay so I know that many would consider that title RUDE.  If you are offended by strong language, this will definitely not be the hang-out for you!

But hey, I just used a vigorous curse word…I didn’t smack your baby!

I feel the need to spout off a little and hopefully those who are of a strong constitution can buckle up and come along for the ride.  I’ve found myself getting more “feisty as fuck” with each passing year! Hopefully you are too.

As I said in my last blog, Elizabeth Gilbert’s words “Go make your own fucking art!” have become my new motto.

The inspiration?

I was recently the subject of an overwhelming cyber bullying attack (June of 2017).  At first, I had no idea why, but was suddenly hit with a few one-star reviews on my Garden of Ink Tattoo Facebook page, with no actual words.  Just the 1 star.

Had the page for about eight years, never a problem at all. Had a rating of 4.8 and in 24 hrs. it was down to 2!  UGH.

I was busy in meetings all day so didn’t have a chance to deal with it but by the next day I had over 150 negative, vicious comments and 1-star reviews before I had a chance to turn off Facebook reviews.  I spent countless hours reporting and blocking people over a few days.  They attacked me personally and commented all over my photos and posts.

Soon it was over 200, and then they moved to google reviews too (which cannot be turned off unless they are violent or threatening). They also went on to my student’s Facebook pages and made nasty comments as well as contacting two of my clients. (determined little nitwits!)

The thing that floors me most?  It was tattoo artists from across the country doing the bullying!! My OWN PEERS!

In general, the “reason” behind it was because I own a tattoo school and these other tattooers believe everyone should be forced to go through an old-school, harsh apprenticeship to “earn” the right to practice this craft and thus I am “degrading” and “dishonoring” the tradition of tattooing by having a school and using modern equipment.  They didn’t even care that schools are required and regulated in Oregon! The comments ranged from rude to threatening to downright filthy. I was quite in shock at how ruthless and ugly they were being to defend their way of thinking.

Those first few days I was puzzled, then hurt, then defensive, then angry! My clients, friends and family came to my defense with lightning speed, which was AWESOME. (Danny, my son-n law REALLLLY raised a ruckus…I loved his “HOW VERY DARE YOU” attitude.

But I personally chose NOT to engage with them. I didn’t say ONE WORD to any of them, and just countered the mean google reviews with a pat answer.

In fact, after it got up over 300 comments I began to literally LAUGH at the ridiculous, mean, awful things they were hatefully spewing.  I couldn’t even fathom why someone would waste so much energy directing hatred instead of just making their own art.

REAlly?  I mean SERiously?

And my family and friends were shocked that I was so calm, because they were all pissed! (Especially my sons…defending their MAMA.)

My feelings are as follows: A. I am an artist no matter what the FUCK you think. B. There is room for EVERYONE who is determined to tattoo and multiple paths to get there. C. My clients love me. D. My students love me. (well except that one asshole). E. How dare you act as if you are the almighty deciders of how the tattoo industry should be run. F.  is for “Fuck you”.

One of the weirdest parts of this is, my friends, students and clients know me as a kind, caring, generous, positive and Fierce Pollyanna.  These trollers have no clue of who I am, my journey, my reasons, motivations or the difficult path I’ve had to get where I am.

And yet they feel they are my judge and jury with comments like “you should break your thumbs”, “let’s bring her down”, “My dick does better tattoos” or “your art looks like a 5th grader did it.”

Here is some of my “crappy” art they tore apart but the client was over the moon happy! (Watercolor Elephant tattoo 2017)

My inclination is to feel “hey if they are picking on me I can just count that as a measure of my success.”. 

(My Pollyanna sunny side has tried to find a positive spin to this brutal verbal attack.)

Ok so first of all, if you were a painter and went to college or a private art school no one would say to you “you should NOT pay your way through, you should SUFFER for your art and only train through a traditional apprenticeship such as in the days of old, where they will treat you like crap OR you are NOT really a REAL painter!”  And secondly, no one would say your painting was shit if you didn’t create it in the same way, style or using the same tools as they did. And thirdly, no one would say you weren’t a REAL painter just because you didn’t take art history or uphold the traditions of all those who came before you. And lastly, all art training, styles, tools and technology change over time!  Why should tattooing be any different?

The majority of the meanies said things that implied I am hurting all tattooers and scamming the students because I am breaking with traditional apprenticeships.  Also, I am dishonoring all those tattoo artists who came before me. And because I use a modern rotary tattoo machine (and teach that to my students) I am apparently an idiot and I am “shitting on the whole tattoo industry.”

HOLY MF, people get a life.  Things change. Traditions change. People are allowed to make their own choices.  Just because you think you are right doesn’t make it so and certainly does not give you the right to be hateful, judging and threatening to someone who doesn’t believe the same as you.

I was told in a private message: “I’ve been tattooing for 30 years and what you are doing is an abomination.” REAlly? SeriOUSLY?  Me tattooing my happy clients and teaching my happy students to do the art they love is what you consider an “abomination”?

How bout your spewing hatred like a gutless chicken behind a computer screen–Now THAT is actually vile and abhorrent!

One of my clients said it best when he commented: “It’s so ridiculous how they are bashing you for not doing things the traditional old school way, but they are using Facebook to tell you this.  They should be using a rotary dial telephone to call you up and threaten you instead.” (OMG I laughed so hard when he said this!)

So instead of crying, being hateful in return or shrinking back…I made this video, ala Jimmy Kimmel’s “Celebrities Read Mean tweets”.  CHECK IT OUT!

And they wanted to ‘bring me down’ shatter my confidence and crush my reputation.  But hell, all they did was make me more feisty and KICK ASS than ever.  I’ve literally written more, created more, painted more and drawn more in the last few months than in years AND increased my income through my own IDEAS. Take that bitches!!

And of course there is this piece of advice from Wayne Dyer I have always tried to live by: “Your reputation is in the hands of others. That’s what reputation is. You can’t control that. The only thing you can control is your character”.

If you have a moment, join my facebook group to continue the discussion or comment below.  I’d love to hear how you have stood up for yourself!!  I’m seriously starting a “Feisty as Fuck” movement!!  Hee hee

Be fierce. Be kind. Be BADASS!

 

~Shelly

PS: Let me know what is the biggest challenge in you not being the person you want to be.  What is holding you back?  I’d love to help!

Feisty Black Sheep says “GO ALL IN!”

Feisty Black Sheep says “GO ALL IN!”

Baa-Baa-Baddass!

black sheep, noun
The least reputable member of a group; a disgrace. This metaphor is based on the idea that black sheep were less valuable than white ones because it was more difficult to dye their wool different colors. Also in the 16 century, their color was considered the devil’s mark. By the 18th century the term was widely used as it is today, for the odd member of a group.
(American Heritage Dictionary)

Have you always been known as “the black sheep”? Associated with words like outcast, outspoken, reject, prodigal…weirdo?

Or perhaps in your family of origin you were the only one with musical or artistic talent and nobody understood your weirdness. Or maybe you were a guy who didn’t like football or a girl who didn’t want to have a baby? Or maybe you turned your back on the religion you were raised in.

Or maybe you just cursed a helluva lot more than the normals do. (I sure do!)

On the outside it appears that you don’t care very much what people think of you or what is considered the “right thing” to do? (I very much embrace a “fuck-the-fucking-fuckers” philosophy.)

But inside there is the incessant voice that questions “who do you think you are?”, “DO you even have a clue what you are doing? Or “What if I am all wrong?”

How often do we let this voice stop us? How much of our time is wasted fighting back the defeating self-talk? Despite our outward bravado and strength, there is a little

scaredy cat

inside each of us.

OMG I drain a lot of precious energy IN MY HEAD, having to talk myself down off the ledge of self- doubt. I remember author Wayne Dyer saying we have something like 60,000 thoughts in one day, and most of them are repeats! It is exhausting to continually harp on myself, even if it’s not out loud.

Here’s the bald truth; I have two battling voices inside: Scaredy cat me and feisty black sheep me.

And I have conversations in my mind that go something like this:

Scaredy cat: I’m too old!

Feisty black sheep: Screw age. Who decided how old was too old anyway?

Scaredy cat: I’ve wasted so much time already!

Feisty black sheep: You’ve worked your ass off for years. You only always have the now moment.

Scaredy cat me: But what if I’m not good enough?

Feisty black sheep: Good enough for whom? (fuck-the-fucking-fuckers!)

Scaredy cat: I don’t want to seem too woo woo or ignorant.

Feisty black sheep: Embrace your freaky deaky nature and prove how smart you are!

Obviously scaredy cat me is the voice of my dastardly and wimpy ego and feisty black sheep me represents my

inner badass diva (the higher power baby!).

And I must continually make a conscious choice to listen to the feisty black sheep or my INNER DIVINITY, the messages that download to me from universal energy all about worthiness, talent, dreams and capability. (Besides divinity is delicious!)

Sometimes, as I am swept away by amazing bouts of inspiration and glorious ideas, that stinkin’ fear voice creeps in and makes me question myself. I begin to doubt or lose faith in my ability to be successful or flourish. If I happen to be really stressed, feeling a bit under the weather, or even just premenstrual, I can waiver in my confidence and shrink back from going all in.

I actually thought to myself a few months back, WHAT if I didn’t question? WHAT if I truly believed in the power of my intentions with absolute certainty? WHAT would it feel like to have absolute KNOWING? How astonishing of a life could I have then? (I love these moments of ‘satori’, or sudden enlightenment, where the veil of understanding is lifted just for a fleeting moment and I truly get it and then whoooooosh…it’s gone.)

So sure I can shrink back at times, but my need for beauty, adventure, brilliance and connection urge me to just keep going, just keep trying… just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!

Elizabeth Dorrance Hall, an assistant professor of communication at Utah State University says, “Many so called black sheep wear the title like a badge of honor. This applies especially to “positive deviants” — people who make positive changes in their lives and the world but are still ostracized by members of their family.”

In my mind the term “positive deviants” = Fierce Pollyanna—and yes I do wear the label “black sheep” with pride!

And feisty black sheep me says GO ALL IN!

If you are a black sheep too, I’d love to hear from you!  Join the conversation in my facebook group!  I will be offering fun freebies, badass tips and custom art products + loads of brutal honesty!

Be fierce. Be kind. Be Baa-Baa-Baddass!
~S

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

Why do people think they need to tell me what to do? Why do people think they KNOW better for my life? I mean especially the people whose lives are not so nifty??

I get advice EVEN from people who are broke, overweight, unhappy and unhealthy. Even those who are in terrible relationships feel the need to tell me how mine should look. Really? (can you hear the inflection in that? REAlly?)

BUT what I am recently coming to grips with is the people who have told me that my art is shit. I mean for one thing REAlly? And for another thing SERIously?

How DARE you tell anyone their art is shit? “How VERY dare you?”

Have we not seen enough movies with the art or music teacher telling a kid they are lousy and untalented…THEN that same kid goes on to fame and fortune?

And not only that– ART is probably one of THE MOST subjective things on our planet!! Ummm…have you seen a Jackson Pollack painting?

Ok, ok, to be fair, it was a bunch of people from other states cyberbullying me on Facebook. No one in my real life has ever said “your art is shit” which does make it a little easier to take.

And yet, since our world is so integrated with the internet, and the voices out there are getting louder every day…it still hurt! (fucking chickens, hiding behind their keyboards!!)

But I chose to ignore the meanies (in fact made a funny video responding to their ridiculous posts, which I will share in another blog) and I just moved on with my life. Fortunately, I am confident enough in my own skin, and strong enough in spirit to LAUGH at the losers who waste their time tearing people down.

I also am blessed with a tremendous amount of supporters who love me and love my art. They keep coming back! (YOU PEEPS TRULY ROCK MY WORLD!)

So the clear message here for me is: I’m not going to please everyone. Some people will be drawn to me and the art or writing I offer and others won’t. So what? I’d rather build a following of enthusiastic fans and ideal clients, even if it’s small, then beat my head up against the people who want to hate, or slam or dis me.

As Elizabeth Gilbert says in her FANTASTIC book BIG MAGIC (and I have adopted as my own Goddess warrior CRY) “Go make your own fucking art!” (more on that later.)

Check this out: 10 famous people who make horrible art.

Ok so sheesh…HORRIBLE is an appalling word. But damn, if they can do it, anyone can.

And listen…people buy this stuff!!

Makes the old saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” come in to crystal focus.

Everyone deserves their own art, no matter how amateur or advanced it is. And each artist has their own fans, whether it’s MOM or a crowd of high falutin’ art collectors.

Art is good for the soul. Art is a skill that can always be developing and growing. Even kid’s art can be a beautiful, moving, inspirational piece. (Here’s my granddaughter Orin’s latest piece. She’s 6!)


I happen to think she is brilliantly talented and I am her number one FAN!

So if someone says your art is shit:

And please comment or share your stories of how you have dealt with naysayers, haters or know-it-alls!

Be fierce. Be kind. Be Badass!!

~Shelly

PS: Be part of the conversation by subscribing to my email list. I am planning all sorts of goodies, freebies, videos, and great convo!

One Big Retro “Screw You”!

One Big Retro “Screw You”!

 

Being content and joyful, despite circumstances, seems to be a foreign state for most people. I would swear people love misery, and misery loves company, so we get an exclusive invite to their poopy pity party!

I practice hard to stay in the present moment–using meditation, yoga, affirmations, determination and mindfulness. HEY it’s not freaking easy, let me tell you, But it’s high on my priority list to FEEL GOOD!

My lightness and joy are like a skittish unicorn, poised to be spooked away at any moment by the village folk crashing through the woods, carrying pitchforks of pessimism.

And yet I just keep bringing on the rainbows.

Oh sure, I know there are tons of jokes and memes about the airy fairy, new age, too happy sunshine dorks.  But that’s just peevish people attempting to categorize all UNKNOWNS into one big label. People called me Pollyanna for YEARS before I realized it was supposed to be an insult!

One big retro “screw you” to all those jerks who tried to make me feel foolish for simply being cheerful.

Everyone’s unique perspective is needed in this world.

We can’t all be cynics and too-cool-for-school.  I happen to be fierce, nutty, funny, weird, optimistic and unbearably light most of the time.  It takes real tragic trauma to get me down.  Sure, life pushes my cork down to the depths of the sea, where I struggle to breathe, but my sunny nature just keeps popping that cork back to the surface. I like to float!

One of my biggest turn-offs is sitting with a group of people who fill the air with complaints; why things can’t be done or just a lot of “woe is me”.  I swear some people literally aren’t happy unless there is some drama and BS to stir up.

Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction.  Break the habit.  Talk about your joys.” ~Rita Schiano 

So when that happens to me, before my eyes start to roll, I politely excuse myself and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.  It’s hard enough to maintain your own centered state of being, without adding the drain of whiners, complainers and negators!

I’m not saying there aren’t valid traumas and tragedies–people do need support and a kind ear at times.

I’m talking about the type—you know them—NOTHING makes them happy, everyone is against them, they expect the worst and they believe they have no control over their lives. It’s all happening “TO” them. Years go by and you hear them saying the same old things. Waah!

Guard your mind from the Gloomy Gabbies.

Looking on the bright side and being cheerful is not childish or delusional. These are important qualities of successful people.

Optimism is quintessentially an energizing, dynamic force

So why power down when you can power up?

Let’s commit to complain less.  Let’s find more to be grateful for. Let’s allow our unicorns to prance freely through the forest, undisturbed.

Be Fierce. Be Kind. Be Badass.

~S

“My friend told me I was delusional.  I laughed so hard I almost fell off my unicorn!” ~unknown.