I just found out recently that I am “fussy”. I reacted with a “how very dare you” of course when I first heard this from my partner, feeling hurt. But then he said, “look it up in the dictionary”.



  1. (of a person) fastidious about one’s needs or requirements; hard to please.
  2. showing excessive or anxious concern about detail.
  3. full of unnecessary detail or decoration.

Ok so after I read them out loud he said “just the first one”. And I was forced to say…hmmm, it is true!

Though fussy seems like an insult, I had to regroup and accept that I am indeed high maintenance and somewhat hard to please.

I have grown more and more specific over the years as to what I like and don’t like. Is that bad?  UM NO!

We have been taught, especially as women, to always put others needs before our own and as a result we suffer from lack of self-care, stress, and low self-esteem. I think it’s a good thing that I KNOW what I like and what I need to keep me stable, satisfied and stress free.

For example, I like having three pillows to sleep.  I can’t explain it, except that it makes my body feel more supported. And when I go on trips I usually take at least my ONE pillow that I love. People make fun and I shrug it off.  It’s more important to me to feel comfort and sleep well than to bow to their ridicule.

I also prefer my decaf to be high quality and just so. Decaf usually sucks at most place because they think people just want a watered-down version of regular and thus don’t care about the taste. I LOVE the taste of coffee, just can’t handle the caffeine without laying awake at night like an OWL! So I am a decaf snob.  And fiercely proud!

And a water snob (I can literally taste the difference between brands of bottled water).

And a foodie.  I am a super-taster so I can taste things like oil that’s too old, chemicals in processed foods and usually whether a fresh food is organic or not. That makes me seem like a regular Gordon Ramsey type bitch when it comes to meals…

”this tastes like a dog’s dinner!”

Also, I wear shorts, skorts and skirts all the time (even in the winter) because I hate pants and my legs feel claustaphobic when I wear them. Weird to you–normal to me. And believe me, people say to me all the time “aren’t you cold?”, “I don’t know how you can wear shorts in this weather” or “Brrrr!’ while staring at my legs. It’s actually gotten so frequent that I need to come up with a snappy comeback—like “I was born in Antarctica” or “my mother was a penguin”.

So yes, in many areas of my life I am fussy. But just like calling a woman bitchy, high maintenance, bossy or bubbly (or Pollyanna) is intended to be derogatory, I shall embrace fussy.

I, Shelly Dax, proclaim far and wide that being fussy is not for the faint-hearted but for the fierce and feisty!!


Synonyms include particular, discriminating, and selective. Sounds like every awesome person I’ve ever known. And a few choice characteristics of the wealthy. Hey I’m ok with that!


How are you fussy in your life and have people made fun of you?


Be Fierce. Be kind. Be Fussy. Be Badass!