Life still happens! Tell me why! Why? WHY? There is never really a sufficient answer that will satisfy. But when shit hits the fan, at least you can DO something about it.
Life wants to grab you by the hair and twirl you around, just to see if you are still paying attention.
Even with years of practicing mindfulness, positive thinking, following my soul, staying present; blerby blerby blah…
LIFE STILL HAPPENS.
Okay well if its 10,000 hours to master something…guess I still have a ways to go.
But my point is…when the shit STILL hits the fan…there I am saying to myself…REallY? SeRiOusLy? Again?
And I need to get ahold of the emotions that want to whine and squawk. The most compelling lesson in my current life is learning to actually embrace the conflict,
not just avoid, wish it wasn’t there, worry or complain WHY? Woe is me.
But to flip it…look for the growth opportunity, dive deep, see what I need to learn, or how I can be even more vulnerable.
Recently I’ve had a few opportunities to face some YUCKS, a few hurtful things crashing in all at once. Takes your breath away sometimes, right? And there are a few things that help me manage.
Great advice from mentors along the journey;
- BREATHE.
- Give yourself time to process the emotions. (I have a three-day rule before I make a decision how to proceed on difficult emotional situations or major decisions). “When in doubt; don’t.”
- BREATHE some more.
- Speak with trusted loved one.
- Find ways to FEEL good…self-care, pleasure, music, nature, pets, grandkids…CHOCOLATE!
- Stay appreciating the STILL awesome things in your life.
- Let it go…Oh so cliché, but incredibly helpful.
My awesome mentor Dr. Wayne Dyer said;
“It makes no sense to worry about the things you have no control over, because if you have no control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And also, it makes no sense to worry about the things you do have control over, because if you have control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And there goes everything that it is possible to worry about.”
Hearing that about 15 years ago made me stop being a worrier. It literally wastes my present moments away.
Another thing I do is allow myself specific time to ponder, analyze, question, cry…and then put it to the side and get on with life. In other words, I don’t let it dominate ALL my thinking throughout the day. I pull it out for a while, chew on it, feel it, allow my soul to feed me some answers, then drop it until the next pondering time I’ve chosen. This way I can still sleep, play, work, love, eat, walk, enjoy.
I may never be able to find all the answers to the WHYS of life, but I am in charge of my emotional wellbeing. I can create the life I love AND still face and process the challenges—from mildly unpleasant to devastating—with grace and choice.
Be Fierce. Be Feisty. Be BadAss.
Shelly
