Sometimes I’m tired, like yesterday when I tossed and turned the night before. I found myself out of sorts and grouchy, snapping at my partner, and feeling sluggish. YIKES…this is not like me and I don’t like the way it feels.
In fact, I am so un-used to being OFF-KILTER that I was puzzled by my irritation. I’m in the habit of asking myself frequently “what’s going on?” or “what is behind this emotion?” And I take a deep breath and look inward to get the answer. {yes I do talk to myself.} And this typically works to discover my deeper awareness.
Yesterday, I actually felt surprised for a moment after I questioned my inner smarty-pants, I realized I was just exhausted, but I kept identifying it as upset or down. WHAT? Even when I’ve done TONS of deep dive self-work, I still find myself in situations where I can’t identify the source of my feelings on the surface. I MUST get quiet, take a breath, focus on my inner calm witness and allow the answer to float up.
So I put on my fuzzy socks, took off my bra, turned up the heat, poured some wine, got in my comfy chair and watched an excellent movie. {“The Fundamentals of Caring”}. I simply allowed myself to stop “go go going”, and collapsed a little. Aaaaahhhhh.
I have suffered from the “not productive enough” syndrome most of my life. UGH. I’ve always had a tough time resting and relaxing because there’s “SO MUCH TO DO”. Also because I have SO many badass things I want to accomplish before I pass from this earthly plane, it’s hard for me to slow down.
And yet I know the consequences of not taking time to rest and recharge. Side effects: grouchy, bitchy, poor eating habits, too much wine, sore body, weight gain, defensive partner and eventually lingering fatigue and illness. No thank-you very much!
And so I have made it a habit for the last couple years to plan “down-time”; tv binge time, date nights, family dinners, beach trips and even went camping alone for 3 nights this summer! It was awesome! I also practice yoga 3 – 5 times a week, mediate regularly and listen to self-development books constantly. These THREE things have made THE most singular difference in my life—increased health, well-being and tremendous abundance over the last 6 years!!
What do you do for self-care? What habits, routines or practices do you need to do (or avoid) to feel ON-KILTER! (ha ha I just made that up!)
Be fierce. Be kind. Be Badass!
~S
