Hurting my back two weeks ago, having to lie there, alternating between ice and heat for days…whew…tested my ability to ALLOW. To just let it all be okay. To not understand the WHY and just face the reality of what is and then CHOOSE to think how I wanted to think.

Oh sure I can talk and talk about accepting what is and flowing with all the ups and downs, or even embracing the unpleasant things in life as just another learning opportunity, but hey when I am in pretty intense pain, it’s not as easy.

My whiny self comes out for a bit of a tantrum:

“it’s not fair”,

“how did this happen”,

“I don’t have time for this shit”, or

“I’m going to eat the whole bag of salted caramel chocolates”

—and OBVS that does NOT decrease the amount of time I have to deal with this unpleasantness…but really just makes it more intolerable.  (well except for the chocolate)

So I tell the little belly-acher to knock it off and use this time to tune in, relax, make room for brilliant ideas and practice letting other people help me. (why is that so hard?)

I feel like the more you think about, dwell on and question “why is this happening to me?”–the more you give momentum to the unwanted thoughts and the more they expand.  Soon to be an all-encompassing “woe is me”. And that little bitchy grumbler scares off all the great ideas, supportive people and potential introspection that could be life changing.

So even in those moments of UGH, like back pain that makes it hurt to sit for any length of time, I can just allow that to pass through me, just accept that it is what it is (so profound right?) and attempt to care for myself and feel good anyway.

Because the pain is still going to be there whether I am absorbed with thoughts of why and woe or thoughts of soothe and chill.

Yes, it throws me off my routine, makes it hard to draw, tattoo or write (all activities that involve sitting!) but it also forces me to learn to be okay with what is, not have to be totally productive every minute (a challenge of mine) and it allows me time for deep dive work on my mindset and beliefs…

which I don’t always “have time for” when I am running around like a crazy woman.

So I’ve tried to think what good came out of these last two weeks and I came up with FOUR things I can appreciate:

  1. I got to practice allowing people to help me. (Dropped so many things on the floor and asked other people to do my bending for me.)

  2. Epsom salt baths with essential oils are marvelous. (Lavender is soothing.)

  3. I can work while lying in bed on my phone and still get a lot done! (yay technology.)

  4. Lindor Caramel with Sea Salt Dark Chocolate Truffles are divine!  (Thanks Gil.)

Not too shabby right?

And though I am eager to get back to my full steam ahead–I can keep calm and eat chocolate in the meantime.



Be Fierce. Be Kind. Be Badass.